All humans need some level of companionship. Theory says that we look for the
uncompromising love in a potential partner, that we get from our parents. To
share a fuck with your mom and dad is called incest and that’s not what we are
going to explore today. The only place to get love that knows no limits is
from YOUR PETS!!!!
ZOOPHILIA: THE EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL CONNECTION BETWEEN HUMANS AND ANIMALS.
Our guide will
deal with only the realistic animals that can be loved in way that most don’t
understand. Dogs and horses are really the only pets that you can have a
relationship with. Some have allowed curiosity to take them pretty much right
around the farmyard, sharing sexytime with chickens, cats, pigs, goats and
cows. Some of these will get you in a mess and will only end in tears.
Our guide will
also deal with some of the finer details so neither you or your lover will
suffer harm. Don’t think that it’s just a case of spreading your legs and
letting them throw it in, no, if you don’t read some of the basic rules you
will be taking them back to where you got them because they are broken.
PART 1: Dating your dog (for the ladies (and
I love my dog very much, how do I make him love me?
It was once said
that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. FUCK THAT!! LISTEN TO ME BITCH! A DOG
is a girls best friend and same for a man. You first need to form a bond
between the two of you and I’m not talking about a ‘dogknot’ yet, bonding
takes time. If you get them home on the first day and try and jump them it
might end nasty, like humans, they don’t make out on the first date.
new best friend feels comfortable with you it might be an idea to start
subtle. Maybe as you take a shower let them watch or brush past them naked.
Before you know it you’ll be wrestling naked with them and ‘accidentally’
touching their genitals. You know when you’re in because the back leg will go
up in the air and access is granted.
Fucky fucky with a beast is different to human contact in terms of physical and
psychological needs. Your dog won’t be worried if he’s performing well and
pleasing you, or if he’s inadequate in the length department. They also won’t
mind if you have a face like a car mechanic’s tool bag, they really don’t care
if you don’t look like a supermodel, are fat or just fucking ugly.
Physically the dog does not become “erect” until after penetration. Concealed
in the furry sheath is a bone called the ‘os’ penis. It pops out when he
becomes aroused. It is pink, smooth, and about the size of a finger, we call
this the ‘lipstick’ because its nice to paint your lips with it. It will come
out of the furry sheath about an inch. At this stage of excitement, he will
begin to attempt to mount.
You should be head down with your ass in the air at this point. He will climb on and grasp
your waist with his forelegs, and bring his throbber into contact with your
now exposed genitals. Your furry friend might get a bit too excited when
trying to find the glory hole so you might have to guide him in. At this
point, you should reach quickly between your legs, grasp his penis gently with
your fingers, and bring him quickly to your pleasure gap. When he feels the
tip slip in, he will ram it into you all the way in one push. When he’s docked
you will find the speed and ferocity of his thrusts are quite intense and its
at this point the ‘knot’ will begin to form. The knot is a ball shaped
swelling at the base of his length and this locks you together, the idea is to
keep him from slipping out. NO WAY BACK NOW YOU GUYS ARE LOCKED!
reaches full size very quickly. He also begins to cum as soon as he gets
inside you, and will continue to do so until he pulls it out of you. He will
shoot a large quantity of spunk, and it is quite hot. You will be able to feel
the spurts of hot semen while he is inside you. If your lucky he may get stuck
inside you. If the knot and your tightness are such that he can’t get it out,
it becomes known as a “tie”. In that case, he will not be able to pull it out,
but will stand there quietly and cum in you. This will last from 10 to 40
minutes, until his rapestick shrinks enough to pull out.
Also, during the
tie, the dog will most likely swing his foreleg over your back, turn so that
he’s ass to ass with you and stand with his cock stuck up you. During this
time, don’t try to pull away because it might be painful for you. Just stay
still and enjoy it and let nature take it’s course.
Part 2: Dating your dog (for the guys)
is a little simpler to explain. The problems of getting stuck up a dog are not
really an issue because the human phallus doesn’t knot. That doesn’t mean it’s
as simple as ramming your bell end up the hounds beef curtains and pounding
must be made. The size of your cock in relation to the mutt could be an issue.
Ask yourself, will my man meat rip this poor pooch apart? Am I too big? The
larger breeds such as Alsatians and upwards are perfect for a night of
passion. A toy poodle won’t last too long with a fat cock busting its cunt.
Temperament of the breed and animal is also something to consider.
Use a lot
of lube and play with her nipples and vulva, stimulate her clit. Fondle her to
loosen her up as much as possible and tease her slit with your finger and or
tongue. Hotdogging is quite simple and pleasurable. Hotdogging is quite simply
putting the length of your dick along the slit of her box and stroking along
her flaps. This will stimulate the clit and is quite arousing even fun for
bitches that can take you. Licking a dog out can loosen her up also. 69 might
be a bit adventurous at first but slit licking is fine. For some reason if you
broaden your tongue while down her flaps and just wiggle your flat tongue over
her clit she goes mental.
positions with a beast are limited as you can’t communicate what the idea is
so the classic position is, believe it or not, doggy style! Crouch behind and
guide your muscle into her with one hand. The tail often gets in the way so
just drape it over one of your legs. Grab the mutt by the hip and use your
other hand to steady things. As soon as you are comfortably inside the cunt
you can pump away and receive of the pleasure that makes one scream. Once this
feels comfortable you can try some of the more daring positions like the 69
first session of unrivalled pleasure, there are a few things you should note.
When with your partner they can get a bit lively so its good practice to put a
pair of socks on their paws as embarrassing grazes might be difficult to
your shaggy lover can squirt his cum all over the place if he gets too
excited. He doesn’t give a fuck if he ruins your fine sheepskin rug so make
sure you can clean up easily afterwards. A soft bed sheet with a layer of thin
plastic sheeting underneath is good. You must also be careful with king size
dogs like great Danes. Imagine the size of the knot when it’s inside you,
there’s only so much space in there. If he grows to full size there’s no way
you will be able to pull him out without ripping half your guts out with him.
Group sex with a pack of dogs can be an extremely
enlightening experience albeit a potentially dangerous one. A well trained
group of three dogs could be used for maximum pleasure. Imagine a dog in your
ass, your pussy and up your fucking tits. Dogs do tend to have dominance
issues in packs so you would have to be careful that none of them gets too
left out because you could have carnage half way through your session.
Some worry about STD’s and infections. Well STD’S shouldn’t be a problem if you don’t
share him, you can’t catch anything from them if you use them exclusively.
Only other thing to remember is for the guys really, don’t give them fuckass then throw
it up the pissbox straight after because the shit on your knob will cause an
Don’t get caught! One guy was dumb enough to have his way in a public place which is ok
unless your lover is a dog, is dead and you are doing it in front of the main
window to a day-care centre.
Part 4: Enjoy each other
Some claim that houndsex is abuse. To be honest I’ve never seen an unhappy mutt when he’s
getting a good session. If they didn’t like it, they have ways of letting you
know. Look at it this way, they love sex! They have no way of masturbating so
really you are giving them a service they can’t do themselves, you are
relieving them of sexual tension, it would be wrong not to do it. We have
decided to take them out of their natural habitat where sex is available
whenever they feel like it, ITS OUR DUTY TO GIVE SOMETHING BACK FOR THE
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE THEY GIVE US DAMMIT!!!!
You will find over time that the bond between you both will grow and the adventures you
experience will blow your mind. Next time you’ve had a wild night with your
four legged friend be sure to look him in the eyes and tell them how much you
LOVE YOUR DOG!
Project director: Jewdozer
Text written by:
Ajaa Belsenfelchmeister Dinosauru
Fagfagjewjew Happyman Jewdozer