School Shooting Guide



Lets be frank, school is shit
right? You get up at stupid hours, walk through ridiculous weather, only to be
beaten by the other students and mocked by overpaid fuckers claiming to be
educators. Well you should say no more, free yourself from the shackles of the
systematic slavery, pull out your piece and annihilate those that oppose you!

To be remembered you have
to do something drastic. Nobody remembers the hero’s, it’s the bad guys we
really celebrate. Our guide is going to help you right all those wrongs,
settle scores and become immortal!



We believe that there are
several sound, logical reasons for doing this, but let’s talk about the most
common ones.

Nine out of ten times
this act occurs from a social outcast in the school. Is this you? Someone who
is a bit of a loner, who resides mainly in a fantasy world composed of video
games and graphically violent movies? This is a good thing, and don’t let
anyone tell you otherwise.

You see as you play these
video games and watch these brutal films featuring graphic scenes of violence,
you’ve been subconsciously preparing for this attack.



Firepower is the key to success. The guns must be chosen wisely. Handguns run out of bullets quickly
but allow versatility, shotguns do serious damage and will get your face
painted at close range but like 9’s, they need reloading a lot. Using a mix of
guns can work well like in the Columbine shootings. Our hero’s used a good mix
of handguns, shotguns and automatic weapons. Bayonet fittings for longer guns
can make your hunt very exciting.


Arming yourself can be quite a task. You see, even though some countries and states allow you to
purchase weapons over the counter, you’re still too young to do so anyway so
you might have to find another way…

Your best bet into educational genocide would be to make your own weapons! There are many
websites and books that will instruct you on how to build a weapon from
something simple like a shank to an automatic pistol, but I find that
explosives should be kept as the main focus. Firearms can easily be purchased
from local gangs and black markets, and knives can be purchased in nearly any
store; explosives are a little trickier to come across and are more effective
at communicating your message.

If you’re on a budget and
you have to think on a very minimalist scale, then why not simply look around
your own (or a friends) house? Pretty much anything you have sitting on a
shelf or hidden away in a cupboard can be used to bring pain and misery to
those around you, I’ll list some now.


Why with only a lighter
and an aerosol you have yourself a makeshift flamethrower and for added
damage, why not fill water balloons with a flammable liquid (gasoline, lighter
fluid, etc). Throw at these your enemies and then give them a quick blasting
with your makeshift flame thrower, watch as they roast in agony.


Why not grab some
cleaning products from around the house? You could douse that jock asshole’s
face in bleach and watch him cringe as his eyes burn from the chemicals.
Whilst not all of these chemicals are killers, they are irritants and can thus
weaken and slow your targets. An added benefit is some of these chemicals are


Check the garden shed and
garage, you can find many a weapon in these places. Some of you may be lucky
to own some small portable gardening equipment like one of those little
chainsaws which could come in very handy and make the job a little more fun.
You could act out your favourite games like Doom or Postal but for god sake,
make sure the damn thing has been topped up with fuel because your face will
be red if you have some vigil students running at you with a chair leg as
you’re trying to start the damn the thing up.


Part 3: Going in for
the kill

Now it should be noted
you never do this part unprepared, you need all of your weapons, some thick
clothing and body armour if possible. An energy booster can help, it can come
from a sports energy drink, some caffeine tablets or hell you might as well
use amphetamines cause its really not going to matter what state your body is
in by the end of this.

You want to start off by
checking out your school. Get to know all the exits that your targets could
run from. Exits are all bad so you want to block them off using garbage, start
a fire outside them or leave some timed explosives, triggered or remotely
detonated if possible.

To make your message
clear you want to start your attack in the most populated area, the school
hall or a class is a good place to start. Take out a few of your old peers and
let some escape, when these people run out screaming it will attract many to
come and check out what’s up, blow there heads off… show them curiosity does
in fact kill the fucking cat. Knocking out the lights can also add to the


When killing people it is tempting to shoot them in a way to bring suffering but not instant death.
Whilst this may be fun now, after the attack, these people may end up being
rescued and treated, giving them the potential to cash in on your attack
through the media, this is very bad. Head and heart are the most important
targets on the body.


When you spot large
groups, be sure to throw explosives into them but make sure these explosives
detonate quickly as once the targets notice them, they will try and disperse
as fast as possible. Aim for groups hiding in classrooms or in enclosed


Remember the home made
flame thrower we spoke off earlier? Well now is a good time to use it, aim for
students clad in thick clothing, as much as you want to make the trashy class
whores burn, they wear very little and thus its harder to keep them alight.
Remember, the more clothes they wear, the easier the flames will take.
Enclosed spaces are good for fire as it spreads much easier, we’re not only
aiming to destroy life but also property. School buildings cost thousands to
repair in tax payer’s money bringing not only pain, but financial loss.


Whilst on the
rampage it’s a good excuse to take those things you’ve always wanted, you
know, like the dripping wet mouths of the girls in the shower room. Walk in
and blow somebody’s brains out to let them know you’re for real. Line them up
and tell them they each have 2 minutes to make your purple headed yogurt
thrower spray its goodies or you’ll terminate them one by one. Try and hold
back so you get to kill as many as possible….fuck that, even if you cum,
kill them all anyway.


Part 4: Wave goodbye
So….you killed everyone
who has crossed your path, beheaded and slaughtered those who had mocked you.
Now you find yourself alone in the school, possibly surrounded by only the
dead and the dying.


Now comes the hardest
part of the fun, the final shot of the day, the end of the game, now you must
end your own life. If you don’t kill yourself, they will capture you and
you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail, suffering at the hands of prison
gangs. In some places, right wing, family loving, evangelical owned governors
will feed the media with a show trial and give you the death penalty. Why let
the state get all of the fun, yes, your suicide can be made fun for you.


If you’re exhausted then
I suggest a bullet to the head, its not only quick but very effective.
Remember to place the gun in your mouth, aim upwards towards the brain and let
it go, you should be dead in a blink. If you wish leave a message behind then
a written note, CDr, drawing or simply a poem will work. This message can be
an explanation of your actions or even just a list of rude words, it’s
entirely your decision.

If you wish to take the
fun way out and create even more havoc then we suggest this; attach any
remaining explosives to your body under your clothes and make sure they are
all ready to detonate. Now walk out of the school with your hands in the air,
the police/swat team will come running up to you but you will have the last
laugh, detonate the explosives just as they get to you and you can possibly
take out 5 – 6 law enforcers.


Your deader than princess
Diana but hell at least most if not all of your enemies are dead too, as the
blood runs from your head and you drift off into unconsciousness let the sweet
thought of your enemy’s loved ones crying uncontrollably over the barely
recognisable body of their child fill your final thoughts and let you laugh
your heart out with your final breaths.


This is where we remember
our hero’s, those who have gone before us and shown us the way.

All report cards below are links

cho_seung_hui dylan_klebold eric_harris marc_lepine Robert_Steinhauser matti_saari walter_seifert adam_lanza


Project director: Fagfagjewjew

Text written by:


Art by:


von Euler-Donnersperg

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